Top Ten Advantages of Turning Fifty-Three:
10. Not dead yet
9. Age and year of birth ('53) actually match, sort of
8. Nobody says a word if you go to bed at 10 pm
7. Mid-life crisis should be over and done with by now
6. "Distinguished" to "dorky" ratio goes up a couple of percentage points
5. Still likely to get a few bucks from Social Security before it goes completely broke
4. Ability to feign maturity improving all the time
3. Younger women will speak to you, so long as you don't actually try to date them or anything
2. Can shut off cell phone without worrying about missing something
1. Almost to the point where being carded might bring discounts
Very funny! Substitute "men" for "women" in #3, and change #7 to read "Midlife crisis is hopefully near the end", and this list describes my life, too!
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